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Wuh Yuh Say Podcast
Wuh Yuh Say Podcast

Episode 10 · 2 years ago

CARIBBEAN PARENTING: BENEFITS AND CHALLENGES!!! W/TWOYOUNGFORANOLDTALK | Wuh Yuh Say Podcast

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

I sat down with @twoyoungforanoldtalk to discuss the benefits and challenges of Caribbean parenting that we have faced along with others as children and young adults! Sooo.... LEAVE YOUR THOUGHTS AND QUESTIONS BELOW!!!! and maybe just maybe your topic will be in the next episode!

Well, I mean this is probably the first time I'm going to ask you doing this, so like I've done all my intros before. So I mean, first of all, guys, welcome to you say, a podcast. I'm here with Neil and ABRIANNA, who have their own podcasts called too young for an old talk, and I just felt it was necessary to just get them on because, I mean one their podcast so they talk a lot to change and I really wanted to get them because obviously there are no living and they would have also experienced a lot of the Caribbean parenting topic that we're about to discuss, because I feel like it's been trending a lot on twitter recently, as by on instagram recently. Definitely, I don't know if you guys would have seen the whole little boy that was injured. I know, yeah, Brain Dad, which is absolutely devastating for her and her family and obviously all their prayers go to them. Yeah, I don't necessarily have long for far back connection with Neil, but I don't know if you can remember this, but I do. Okay, I'd conference. We have. We got confirmed together right. That was when I was at can't remember, like twelve, eleven, I real. We're young, yes, very but yeah, I know they are overseas in Canada and Neil is, I don't actually I say a chef. You can't really a shot a shot. Which, yeah, if you guys want to go listen to their podcast, it will be in the description down below. Is An interesting listen. I've been behind are they told them in their episode. I we just recorded. So guys, go and check them out. But I just want to get straight into the topic where we're dealing with parenting, because it's a really interesting poppy Ali said, we're a lot of US would have experienced Caribbean parenting, where there are parents may wants to do certain things, where we meet other people. I have friends that are limited and not as free as other children. You know that, I guess. And actually a sent out instagram. What, Pole, Pole, where? Questions? The questions, the good thing where I wanted to just get some soup from people what they thought the whole parenting thing. So I will start with that because just to start out, because it was a number of them that were saying and firstly they people upper. One Guy said amount of calling names. Yeah, we'll keep everybody. I everybody an anonymous as they really are trying to get into this. So one guy really asked why do parents like really make you do everything around the House late? I know that's a lot of I know why they do it, but why do you think that a parent would want you to be doing everything else? The Choice? Okay, I've my answer. I'm ready. You're like, it's times from they had to do it for fifteen, twenty, twenty five years. I know they feel like everything for this times must there. For me, it's kind of like they did their time and know it's emp you do your time. I think that's mental people have when they do it. Yeah, I know some of the people might have it. So you don't grow up feeling everything should be done for you. I try to make ...

...it moment. Yeah, I don't think that's a case for everybody. I feel like it happens for multiple reasons, but I think it would probably the main, the main too. Yeah, I agree with that. And just like them thinking, Oh yeah, I had to do it, you have to do it to the tip attack kind of thing. But I also think, and I think this is what my parents kind of did, and I see a lot more now as I'm getting older that you're living in a household, like you exist within that household. So at some point, like you're going to have to do something to help maintain yeah, I get the whole doing everything thing, because I felt like that, like you never have a second to breathe, that you lay don't yeah, you can get any I call again. Yeah, like as soon as you take us sit down to just like take a moment, since there's no time for that. I think. I don't know how to describe what they're trying to do, but for me I've seen the benefits of that kind of like parenting, I guess we're calling it. Now come up in my work ethic, like as an adult. Like now, as an adult, I in all the workplaces that I've been in since living on hair, like I just work like nothing and everybody's like how are you doing so much? How are you like always just on top of things? They just keep moving, like I do things a though being asked, and like that's how my parents raised me, like they raised me to be prompting. Yeah, all the time. I like when I was fifteen, it was freaking annoying. I's like you could give me a second, like I don't always want to do something, you know, because they just want to do nothing. Problem and I didn't understand it then, but what I'm twenty one, no, and ran very thankful. So, yeah, it's annoying, but I think they have good intentions in doing it. But also you need to like you just have to understand your parents, because they think some parents can take advantage and certain scenarios, but you have to know or try to know your parents. Yeah, I mean, as you guys said, really and truly where you it's a tit for tatort of thing, and that's where another person did say in the thing that they said train up a chill in the way he should go on when he is old, he would not depart from it, which is basically what you guys are saying. Yeah, but in that sense where people do talk about tip for Tak, where some parents may have be good way have gone out, because I'm sure qc as it was with Harrison College. I mean there's that whole thing with keeping your here a certain way and all of that, and I mean it's not necessary apparent as in a biological parent, but that's a kind of a parenting in a sense where teachers do look after you and not something that you're my parents will always say that. Okay, you're going to school. The teachers are basically your parents away from home. So then, yeah, I've heard my mom they yeah, so it's like they always say that. Yeah, so it's always a respect sort of thing. But even with eyeside, with the here, like, but then you look at I got their pictures. Is like, okay, you had an a froad. Okay, yeah, you had. You're here like this, the way you doing this. No, that's my dad literally. Yeah, my brother will like when my brother Sur first start, who brought his hair? It was like, let we get rate, like was act was like and idiot or whatever, and then, I don't know, he hasn't our revelation, because see that also. So, yeah, my mom never had a personal problem with my hair was kept neat or way that. I mean, like hair could be long, but it shouldn't be specifically wild. You know, some Nice...

...you break up and go and that's a look. Yeah, you go first. That up my mom school. Yeah, but you know, she don't want to be looking like I just didn't really care or whatever. Yeah, I feel but definitely, well, we have the same or our depth principal, I think went to be the principle there. So that's basically. Yeah, well, I've heard. Yeah, I love it. I love it over, yes, we've heard the stories. I don't real it was very much as soon you started getting senior school and you become like a someone that people look up to out school. They say, okay, they hammered on it. So yeah, like my last three four years actually, see, was just like very militant almost, or probably. However, they're trying to late, you know. Yeah, every other day doing here, checks that you spending how much? You know that thinking about it, how much money, and I is budget went to just teachers. Look at people seeing it's not impact to anything else, but like it's just for yeah, big thing for them. See, I guess that that kind of pearting. It tries to make it uniform, which I get the reason behind it tout degree, but like you know, then you get the different, I guess perspective whenever is like, okay, my hair is UN teddy two inches as a obvious block meal and you may have someone does have a leathery complexion with a different hair her type and the hare's. You seem length or their hair is longer and still neat, so they don't get into the cut it, even though we have this whole rule in the gred bookers like you here must be listen to interest as a fact. So my hair is probably two interest when you pull it from the root straight up, but you have someone else as later skin or with a different here type. Honestly, yeah, that's fine. That's a really good yeah. Yeah, so I feel like that kind of which this is pretty built from colonialism, kind of shows up. I showed up now for me, especially looking box. Well, I mean that kind of would lead to, HMM, that's them protecting us, and as I guess, you could look at it like that but then not notice me. It's my next sub topic, which is where someone asked me this and they I did have it as well in my notes as well, which is does like over protecting affect the relationship between a child and parent, because there's a lot of parents that you know, I mean not and some friends I have, that aren't able to do certain things because there is well, as children, US ourselves, we always around this age we want to house eyes. Said, we mentioned it in your episode with just having freedom in entrepreneurship. Yeah, so mean you always want to free them to just go and do your own thing, because you're not get it into adulthood and all of that. So, being two thousand and eighteen, you know, basically an adult. So you want that freedom. And if a parent isn't alone, you do some things when you're seeing your other friends do it. Do you think that that is something that is a problem or do you think that is again still looking to the future and developing that for later? I can first right now. I think I think they there's probably some good intent with it, but also everything that I'm saying, that you're saying, really speaking from obviously our experiences with our parents. But at the end of days, all Caban parents, your parents servage, and my most Audian, I don't know, I feel like I had a pretty decent experience, being that I was the oldest child and I was a girl, so I was my parents tested a child for everything she's so I feel like I had to talk a bit more...

...than I see my younger sibling having to, because I essentially paved the way for a lot of these things. Yeah, can I'll just yeah, get not necessarily get away with but almost just like get a past, because my parents know the outcome or can understand a situation better where there it's like schooling, going out, having people over, like those kind of things, because they went through all of that with me. Um, I I don't think my parents are over protected, but in a situation where you might feel like they're not giving you the space that you want or you're not winning in a situation, HMM, now that I look back, I can definitely say like there was probably good intent for they had a solid reason for doing it, whereas me in my young, bad last years, it just like you just don't like me, like why do you not like? Why? Why are you fighting me so much, like if you kind of the whole, like if you love me, you would let me have at. Yeah, yeah, but time you start saying that you just saw like a Sprat, like you just like you just interested. Yeah, it's just like if you love me, you would give me no, Um, I think. I don't know. I'm saying this from like twenty one year old. I'll be Outa but like in the Moring, I'm thinking of about fortune and back then, like I would not have taken the time to like sit and understand, like where is my mom coming from? A where's my dad coming from? And they say this, or why are they doing this? Yeah, what benefit does this have? But now I can like it makes sense. Yeah, like I probably won't fight with my parents now, or if I do, is going to be like over adult things. So I don't know, I feel like the overproductionness, it can't be damaging. You know, you think about your type vers I. The pastor's children might be rebellious because, you know, you're so strict, or you you keep people are such a routine that then they just kind of when a spercause they don't know. So I feel like obviously you want to pre share your child, and it does more than that. You come from a positive place across the board. I think that you have to decide the bows you want to another lose quote UNQUOT as. Apparently wasn't he really want to make sure that they don't do or some really make sure you do with you around them or your guidance, as opposed to like trying to give him nothing. You got to give somebody the grounding thing. Like for me, I guess the context is I'm the eldest child and mom's said, because I'm your own child. Oh, my dad's said on the second holders or Elvis. So you know, I didn't have to total lane like a Brianna, because, you know the star, it rely Joe kind of get we want or whatnot. But I feel like my mom definitely fought bounced up pretty well. There was a lot of things that you kind of wanted it for sue. When you started to become an individual and approaching an eighteen is like, you know what women are doing? X Ray Zo, I wonder this right now. Yeah, I don't remember before that, when you're like in a school environment and you seeing people with things like, I know, for my brother now growing up, like everybody has an iphone another and are pods and he coming home as done. My parents policious, but he want this that, he want that. At fifteen I did not have no blasted I seek. Yeah, so just just he's off. So I think influences like that's you. I Sally, was social media like were's so much on, more aware of whatever dose the doing. Yeah, yeah, it looks like, you know, this person's partying every weekend, this person has such a great life, like mummy. I yeah, doing this too. He actually Um. Finally, balance is key. My mom wasn't really productive. She's reprotective house. I'm all. She had to know...

...she got me. Sure I right? No, not. You know my mom. I think my mom. I don't think anyone's a parent, but mom's pretty darn close, because she was going to learn and hear me and kind of understand where I was coming from. And you know, I'm be dead set in her rays and she's stubborn, but like you can get away that she was that she's in it for. I listen to young what your car? Okay, she understanding these and you so may not get it, but she would like at least had a conversation with you and she would like you with somebodys. I lose them. Yeah, and she was meant to let me get her a little bit, not like Indiana. Obviously. You know mean let me make a mistake and I kind of earth. I okay, roles all the way through. Yeah, I feel it's hard enough to do to keep that ans with like children being so much aware of all the popular things that are being done with their peers. Yeah, okay, my friend has a brand new car. Mom, like I got brand new carry. I mean, yeah, kind of thing. I mean they might even on the car ums just think they own. Yeah, it's just so what people are allowing you to see. I don't know. I guess you can try to talk to your parents. It's not as easy. I feel right has very lucky that my parents well listen and taken on I'm saying. Even if after they sit on listen to me, they still have the same answer, like yeah, the time to listen to what I was saying. Yeah, well, I mean if you know, if you're not, you just said the word listen. They this is a something that I know a lot of people didn't say, even if it isn't about parenting, and it's even but like talking about a relationship or just even their peers or their friends or best friends, whatever. Is like one person put in there. There are certain said that parents will refuse to communicate with children because they think that they know more than the child and that the child should have no say any matter. And that's something that like, even on like we match you sometimes here are there's the mean that's like Oh, your mother comes home and does our says something, and if you say something and the channing parent is wrong, they're they're just gonna like tie you or tell you to do something or they gonna get angry or something. Yeah, so, yeah, so it listening, I guess, is a really key thing. I mean, but parenting is something that you don't there's no manual being a parent. You know, you have to either learn from your parent or exact you just dive in and whoever happens, you try to be your best to correct it or making most of it because, as me Neil said, nils, the only was, the only is dealing person. So you have to try your best to have that balance in that sense. But there's another thing that the same person said where they were like that really, regardless of the age, as long as you live under your parents rule, you must abide by all rules and do as they say, that nothing that the parents says is wrong with you, you know, because they provide so much. They provide for you um and that what if wants. They provide for you. They believe that they're doing that they're a good parent. I think I saw that on Instagram as well. We're on a meme right where somebody was like, as long as a parent provides, that's being a good parent anymore, but I meet person, I think it's more enough communication at all. That definitely that's not that's not the cap making the cut. I can definitely relate to and respect the whole if you live in underneath my roof, roof your Biden by my rules kind of thing. I think there has to be some lenients with that, though, and I feel like I got that insert and situations with my parents and...

...then with my family that I live with now. We're also kind of the Caribean parents because they were born and based in the Caribbean, whereby, yes, you have set rules, but like as your kids, or just as young adults get older, like there are certain things that you should be able to give some sort of leeway with and have like a givent take, but that's very important. Give, Auntie, and my mother has been staple, pretty sure for this for my entire life. Like, if you want to be able to take, you have to be giving. So that goes back to what I said earlier about like helping out in your household and things like that. You can't expect to be given all this freedom and be given certain things and benefits and not work through as at leave. Yeah, it's not fair. Yeah, I feel like. Yeah, I felt to describe the Caribbean pearne style. It be kind of like do as I say and all they do. Because kind of going back to hear you your Dad's do you know, like look at my go. All of your parents might have had out goes back in the day or yeah, or even teachers, but have the same thing. Oh, my dad had his airs Paris. So then you know that. It's kind of like brother brought up that topic. I was like no, I remember that. So it's kind of like, you know, they had the experiences and as they've gone through it and they kind of have a known or an idea of how it's gonna putten key, put you on a different path of they wouldn't want to see go down. So that's kind of really old under this, but you know, you kind of they gotta have to give guys based like I like I said, you got pick him when your bottles, you got love them to experience it. Okay, yeah, actually don't want to do this, but obviously you don't want that. Twelve your old child say yeah, I want Toattoo, score tattoo. So you'RE gonna go to decide it. But I feel like it really does come down to working for really for me, a lot of things that I wanted I could really only even consider getting it if I put in that working. You know, my education was a big thing for MOMS. Like really make sure I bring one did report if every home bid report and really going to be like, you know, salitations on all these greetings that I don't even get, B or whatever. But like if I have like a bad report, either can discussions. You know he's going to a plan that. You know how you going to improve it. What are you going to do to make it better next time? And you know how you're gonna want to get x, Y and Z, and you not working for it. So I feel like trying to find that balance, but I don't know. Everybody has it raised like yeah, it's not as easy. Yeah, it's not as easy. And I think something else that I'm at knowledging a lot more now, and I feel like a lot of people have been discussing more, is that our parents are also individuals. I think some kinds. I'm only no understanding this more, but I think growing up like you, you're not thinking about it like that. If you're not seeing them in another light other than your parent. But you're not at knowledging that let your parent had to grow up to like, they have their own hurt. Yeah, that they might still be dealing with their own struggles. They they have their own friend groups, they have like what they like and what they don't like and all that kind of stuff. So, as easy as it is to just want to pick battles and be like you just use giving me a hard time just because, like you just being mean just because, if you also have to remind yourself, like Ay me through it. Yeah, and they're an individual to they're processing things in their own way and pros and cons exactly. I feel that was lucky enough to because of my unique parenting situation, I always was able to be my parents says in the briefly color and some they had other stuff that they do or their own lives outside, just permitting, and I was interested in you know how it was for them growing up,...

...even if you don't get a full story, but you know you might hear some interesting stories that. Oh Yeah, you know, back to my day, you stop the water ferency, you wouldn't respect riving and everywhere, and you know just say those interesting stories, to be honest. So I think that kind of load it for me that I have a picture my dad or my room and back home and them has an a frol like a perfect after he's like yeah, seven years little all you here with this now? One seven is ridiculous, right. So, yeah, I feel like that. Those kind of things like when you're aware of it, okay, this person had to go through own trap troubles and maybe you can give them Ben Dout, because that makes it easier to understand their decisions. Right, and I mean just as you guys were just saying, in its point where they are individuals. There are some parents that do say, because another person did say that parents do tend to say the thing where it's like parents saying a child should be seen and not heard, but they mean the person. Did you go on to say that causes a generational followers and not original thinkers, but I don't, I can't necessary fully agree with it. But I see what they're saying and we're we're I was going back to where you were. You were saying that you know, there are I guess that's for us. Really we were. We aren't. We were fortunate that we weren't as heavily treated, our gotten a much carble punishment as another child would because, yeah, you see, you say that you brought home a body report. You know it's hooking. You fix this. Yeah, what are you going to do to fix down and make a solution, whereas for another child, you know that, maybe you know also, it's just this. You know. Yeah, sipline, you guys. There's also, I find more so living up here, we've seen the flip side of that, which is, instead of there being a like full on discipline or like a balance between discipline and then some sort of like solution, solution is full on like sacks. You like, Oh my God, so by peace, don't do that again. Okay, I feel great. So the months ago, you're recording an episode. Yeah, a little boy was on a break with his mom. We'll sit here. I hear his rending street of the street, cross the rule, looking at for right. All you can hear is I can't remember his name. Name was hilarious. So, but she was showing where we're not come out for a good to three minutes. So she, imagine, watch up stopped him and then put off the but, you know, grab his hands. Sounds were okay, let's talk to me. What are you feeling? What are you doing? Like, if that was me, I was holding hand like I definitely running away on a bike. This any training, real still, so you can hook. He's like like six seven. So like it does being hard. There's I'm risking life because know my parents, I was put on curse. So for me was like, okay, you know in your road you got to be extra careful your left they all right. Most of the party. You gonna listen. Yeah, this is the whiter if things across the rules that he looking looking right for me and rules. That was me. It was you were gonna full our every percussion. Yeah, there has to be about between the letting you know that you did something wrong, but then also or like that was not good enough, whatever you did. How have you perform, but also giving you that space to be like art. How are we going to work on this? Because it needs to get best our lake, like this is not the standard, because I think it has to be doing more exactly right. So I mean, even though they you need to have that balance. Do you guys think? Because I mean you have here with the whole education thing, with you who has a major part, and I do agree with that. So how that's take away their generation. How do you think that, like we, as the younger generation, kind of correct that to make that balance? Because do I...

...mean we're in the West, but obviously I'm trying to separate Caribbean from America and Canada and you where the Caribbean, as we know, is a bit stricter, I guess, than other continents. So Yeah, how do you think that we would be able to correct that and have that balance of okay, you know when to communicate, when to be strict, when to be disciplined, or when to be easygoing and let them and even trust them, because the trust is a very big thing in parenting, because if a child isn't trusted, then they're going to rebel even more. So how do you guys think that we can correct that? I made that better, I guess. Go Christ. I'll try, because I'm I'm thinking about that and trying to think about how my parents navigated that, because they think that they did that pretty well. But the only thing I can think about is the FI, so much so because I talk so much like my parents were able to understand me so well because not necessary that I was like oversharing or anything like. They don't know every single detail about me, obviously, but I shared so much of myself with them that they were able to understand how to navigate me and like went to like they know when to talk to me and when not to talk to me, kind of. And the exactly because, when I say they went to talk to me, when not talking. So, as a big woman, their host, they did, oh, oh, I can have my door close that this Timond. Yeah, that's not what I'm getting at here. More so, yeah, what you said that it's what did you say? I said about things? Mean really just now you can't remember. Basically, they they know w to give you space. Yes, when to give me space? That's what it was. When to give me space and when when I need attention, I guess, or when I need support, in a sense. But if you're not in that situation because you just don't talk as much as neat, I think it's as we said, like parenting is pretty freaking weird and hard. Yeah, and there's no there's no manual, as we said, for it. So I think we have to, as kids, sometimes, take a leap of faith and not in a way or make that first step to that. Our parents know like okay, we'll we're good to communicate right now, or let's talk about xwains. Your just don't feelery. Can I let you know about this situation, whatever the case is, and then move from there and depending on the response you get, you can know how to navigate. But it's kind of hard because, yeah, everybody's been put in different situations and you might not feel that you can approach your parents in that way, and honestly, sometimes you might do right. Yeah, where you just can't because whatever your parents have dealt with that have brought them to the point where they are now with you, they're not able to navigate that with you or they just haven't experienced that or they don't know. It's all like calling her, yeah, and they're in their mind like it doesn't even make sense to to listen out fear the moment time and saying that they can to score there get or you know, my parents always just always come take me. It's a reserves that are yeah, yeah, exactly. So it's so weird because those things are bumps and off in your mine and neither you nor your parent are like talking to each other and actually being like, oh well, I thought you were gonna do so on sore. Yeah, I thought you were okay. I thought you were just like having a moment that it is a death and nobody's actually saying...

...it out loud. So kind of half supper on it. I don't know. I guess I just got lost lucky because I talk a lot. Sorry, everything was just always come to me. I don't know when, after a certain point, I feel like we never had like bad communication, but we had a really good muication for a lot of my teenage. Teenage years, my mom was always close to me, because both my parents. But I feel as though our communications out of level where it's like if I was feeling wrong or in a bad haspace or weird, you know, Moody harmones or whatever you get up too. If you like, okay, you want to talk, you need space. I was always an emotional child. So not feaking out. Your showing them, because but my emotions would show and even on the place is far actions away. Speak now, I mean respectful, but I just would be like how you put down thing? Yeah, I know, it's sorry, like it would be like yeah, it is like nudge things of it too hard. You just like drop something on a bit, a little bit less curly. Yeah, I feel like that, and also like you be less talking, because I couldn't be talked to a hut just like I don't want to be hearing now. So yeah, my mom picked up on that well, and we should talk to like anything came up to. So, yeah, she's just good for me. If I was to that. I feel like the main thing that if I didn't have my parenting situation, you know, the things to challenge yourself and realize what work for you and wouldn't work for you growing up. And then, I think we spoke up with this previously, but you know, talking to those people that were successful when you were being raised and I figure out why did it x, Y Z or how could they? How would do they think they could improve it? That really you have a basis has to what's IT base your parent cell off of? To the to the ttiness level? It's kind of like most things. If you don't ask you about you would never know. Yeah, you could think, you know, try to dropping your own experiences, but getting both sides, like how you felt with it as a child, on how the parent felt with it. I could help you form, you know, a higher level understanding for yeah, because that's a really bad habit and I think a lot of Caribbean parents tap on the whole kind of like this is how I was raised. I know it's wrong. I'm fully aware that this did not do me good now, but then they still see have to go with it. Yeah, unsolved trauma and like issues from this parenting and from how my parents dealt with this. I know it's wrong, but all I know. So I could just do this to you too. This is what it is. This is all I have to offer and, as you said, it's like taking that leap of faith and actually like saying, like, okay, why not try this? Like I'd rather, we've been talking about this a lot, like I'd rather be a oh well, that a wife, a because what do you what do you have to lose, other than something not working or like somebody saying no. I think it's a lot better to do it that way than to continue that generational trauma. And, Parson, there's no just bawling over and I think our generations really realizing that that kind of work. Like, I think just after that, I think a really good fuss out. Social media has been you can not relate better, like how we kind of like realize that is a trope around the Caribbean. Yeah, you know, these kind of things are very similar. I feel like social media's are about for that, because obviously you might notice in different country, but you know, the connections are so much more personal now and yeah, it's really a love for us like this. That's just the last like maybe there's a reason behind our great greak comparison. This time. I think there is foot I see definitely. Yeah, I mean this is, guys, you could put this necessary. Isn't a Caribbean thing. It's appearance thing in general, where there are the high expectations,...

...where there's a stereotype where some Indian parents, maybe wanting their child to do this on a Chinese pyramid, won't be like, Oh, that's all family guy, they already made that that some Jo settle joke. And then the wonder episodes. And for M Barbados, I guess you could say that a lot of the parents have that whole ideology where it's okay, you have to be a doctor, a lawyer, and a lot of people that are go tirison college or Queen's College, where I know a guy that was just like his day the doctor. His mom's a doctor, and he's like, you have to be doctor. No, cuince that you often not do this, if you often take the time to go to lessons so that you get towards being a doctor, a lawyer or whatever it is, and you have to do is this where there isn't that freedom? Yeah, where they can talk to about it, yeah, where they can just just discover it for themselves. Because, yeah, the teenage, teenage. To be a teenager, you always want to figure out stuff on your own. As a so is, you can't. You want to know that somebody's like behind you support, you have somebody in your back pocket if you need it. Yeah, but you also, as you said, you want to be able to figure things out for yourself, and I think that's a big part of being a parent, like being able to give your child that space. HMM, to be like figure out what you want to do. Okay, if you take a like empty years to do it, it might Mi sit, don't have a chat and be late. All right, let's let's try to narrow down the options kind of thing. But I think both of us can say we're very grateful that our parents had that mindset where they let us figure it out, make a decision and ultimately stick to it and support you going through it. Yeah, we're come, or we wouldn't be pursuing the things that we're placed probably not be in Canada specifically. Yeah, feel like even if, like, your parents allow you to find up out, having them support you, is cannot let they may give you suggestions. That's the way of thing, but, like you, key thing is not for seeing it upon somebody else, because somebody want to do something and somebody being forced to something completely different. And I feel like that's why the whole like up in the in our formcorts really bad, where children go to the college and university just because their parents won't do it and they just struck in two years or this is like yeah, some random degree to get the parents of the block like that's not really helpful anybody because one they put you on something else with it. They're not trying to use. That says like, okay, they wish your time to wasting money and then to the parent, definitely wasting money because the child obviously they hadn't made to college sixteen seventeen. But I feel like for me, my momm she was really my dad too. They really really like, what do you want to do? And I can always knew every want to do from thirteenish. Obviously, you know, different things will come up when you get an experiences are okay, maybe gonna do this. I my mom was really good at, like, you know, having I did. You want to do, but don't lock yourself and don't feel you need to put yourself the Fote with this song. Keep it open mind. And even going to college she's kept from the same thing because at qc I was doing sciences. In my last four years I stopped doing nutrition in fit form. So like it was pure science and math for the last two years there. So I was really out of touch with it from that aspect. I obviously you cook at home. BA's not the same as doing it. Yeah, are the other day at school. So yeah, I guess they as apparently challenge comes from having that expectation. But then, you know, really just dealing about to like a suggestion. I okay, I would let see you do this and maybe give her better context, because I feel like we don't all think at that context. Being as a child and the mentality being, yeah, it's very much like this is what it is, because I say so. Yeah, given that back story, that white because obviously they have a reason for everything. It's just they pick and choose what they want to...

...see, to say, they want you to know, but a lot of the Times it's Usada. If you get that context, like situations become an easier pill to swallow because you have that back story and you can you might not agree with it, but you know, understand where they're coming from. Just continue. Because you guys were basically just saying about, you know, just having the feedom everything, and I do definitely think it's about supporting sports. Say, parenting is definitely, as you said, you might want to day you dive into it yourself. You just want to have that persons behind you. I think us that should be one of the main things about being a parent, just to support your child but not make them do something. You know, so they and even when you said you have the last two years doing sciences, and mean, but some persons that are doing those last two years, or even not combin entrants, they have that pressure to behind them that you have to do well in these last two years are because they eat from reception to class to you know you're doing xways and then cost student class force. Okay, I prommer down. You have that pressure. No, you have to read decide your future, because if you don't what to x or where's the school you're know, you're not going to be as better off as you hand already. Let's not even talk about schooling. Joining which school? You guys mentioned it in your one of your forecast did you did my moment, my dad servant, that was really much a proponent of it already. My of a school you go, do it might as we do at school. Yeah, but yeah, there's a bee that which is legit. But I went to I heard your name too, in school. Oh okay, so my cousin I live if also went out in school and they didn't want the different things. It's kind of only depends on we pop you and I want to go down. But like for me that I legit to my mom after you compentants that I pash alley. It's because I want to see Reaction Act. She wasn't my anything. So it was like sick like this when, yeah, so surprised. Actually didn't pass with Allen that was a bad thing. Apparently it was really like was the volume in it. I feel like I didn't have that much pressure going into comme entrance from these studies aspect, like obviously there was a lot of preparation happening, but I guess it in my head. It was never like a doward day fantasy, which is, I guess, beneficial because a lot of people don't have it like that. Like for that makes really like exactly, this is the moment, right. Yeah, and then for CXC's, I only found out CIS's were obviously had a concept of it and I would do CESC's realise things up UN to that point. But like in class three is when I was like, oh, sorry, third form was like, Oh, we actually doing ses's next year. It was a CISC. So like I was at were these saying that obviously you know up there's preparation happening, even if I wasn't aware, because I qc may be greatfuly on different party for it, since it's second form. Any thing, that's when you start do sees you still it was cool for so it was like I was I'm pretty pretty pressure was in. Therefore, the start. It was like this whole bloom and doom kind of thing. Obviously, as you get closer, that's when they you seart to feel like, okay, this is actually something happening. But I remember the after fifth form my Momam sit down and crunch numbers as so how many people casting giants to six form that do the fifth form? And it's like a ridiculously small percentage, especially for you school. I want about QUC. So that was even smaller. So it's like really, I got do the impossible. It's really yeah, that's fully the main point. Where is I had a for the French, but it was only even like that bat...

...because you still had the support from friends and you know, family was so there in a sense. But if every exam had a going with that kind of feeling, it probably wouldn't have been. I probably would have ended up going the same poplevented, because that mental drain is not fun. Yeah, and I said a such a young age to like how people put pressure at common entrance level. They you could graduate from your secondary school and still not doing have a defined like the idea of what you want to do. I don't that whole having a life plan. Oh, by sir, form before all pain and nonstance. I'm not here for it. Yeah, yeah, neither of us are doing what we studied up. It's okay. So, yeah, the fact that you need to like base your studies like, obviously, if you have a plan, like I want to go here, I want to pursue this like for sure tailor your studies up until that point to that, but otherwise that unnecessary pressure is literally, yeah, unnecessary. Yeah, for sure. And me I want to dive into something that's a little deeper now, because I mean, there's a lot of people that you would have seen. You know, there's people at schoolies that you hear about that you know their parent comes. I remember specifically, I know some other Harrison is might be able to relay and memory at least, that it was just one guy that I don't know why he did, but I remember his mom just came to school and he was beaten. You don't know if you guys are be entireson college, but you know the quadrangle, the yeah tree, right, his mom just one one morning just came and be him right there like and you know people then come always say you know that it's about environment and all that. So a child may out to at school due to their environment at home. So they what do you guys think they about that? Because there's a lot of children that are like that and then they then leads to pretty bad future. But then they are those paid those children who do have a good environment but still resort to those like even Jerry, in a sense, he yeah from that. He said, okay, it was will be cool or whatever. But what do you guys think about the parents who create that body environment and then I didn't know. It's kind of like their surprise when something Bod hopping. Oh my gosh, I I don't know what word I would use to describe that. Honestly, just wild. Yeah, and it's it's definitely a level of ignorance, because how can you pretend, because you're pretending at that point to be oblivious to the environment you've created and you foster at home, that you're probably springing out of yourself onto your child? Like we've said, I've said this so many times, everything is learned behavior. Like kids literally watch everything you do. That's how we learn to speak, it's how we learn to read and write. Everything it's based off of seeing other people do it and a lot of times those people are parents. So yes, I think there's an exception where when you might be doing things subconsciously or you might not realize that you're pushing out things a certain way when you're in a household environment and your child is picking up on them without you realizing, or maybe you're doing it and you just don't give two hoops at picking up on it, which is equally as bad. But I definitely think there's some sort of ignorance in allowing that and entertaining that kind of behavior...

...and environment at home and then seeing it outside the home on one way way right now from you happen? What? Where's this coming from? Like I remember one day and foundation school yard, somebody like through. We had a snow commenter that used to come in on the school promise this every evening after school. Imd I came to pick me up and I got in the car and foundation kind of has a roundabout it, she does. So he picks me up at the top, I get in whatever and we coming around the side to go at least second gate. As some little boy, I was low boy logo. I don't remember who it was because I was traumatized. had a snow corn and through their empty snow cone cut with a lot and ice on the grass instead of just walking to the garbage school is all. Everybody's going home. I might Dad's stopped the car truck and just started yelling at a kid. I kind of I won't say how he said it, but she's basically asked if they do that at home and if they throw garbage on the floor and they're living room and in their bedroom, and the body obviously responded. I said no, because hello, so he said. So, why are you doing that hair? Like was wasn't meaning doing that hair. Pick it up. I'm going to put in garbage. And my dad waited for the kids pick it up and go put I'm just sitting there like everybody around is looking because it's just got Leto and I'm like God, this is a great life lesson, but really is everybody? Has you see me here? Yeah, anyways, like that kind of behavior that you don't I don't know. You have to know, not necessarily time and place, because there's no time to be throwing garbage on the grown. With that specific example, but I think that that example leads into what you said about some people don't necessarily have that I environment at home, but because of the environment they have, they feel they need to do certain things outside the host because it's like, I know, I'm free, breath of fresh air, like I can know be who I want to be or whatever, be the person I think I want to be, or try to conform to some sort of narrative. The whole, like you said, Jerry said, like being cool. Yeah, want to uphold these standards, you want to see, you want to be by everybody. What you see, this person is being. HMM, you don't know where that person come from, the type of circumstances they have at home, anything like that, but you see them at you think, all right, that's that's the wall, that's what I need to aspire to be, and you leave your household where those certain things are not acceptible. I'm going to say that I do them and in that situation, as a parent, I would. I'll be dumb. That was the I I was so sure and I agree. Yeah, well, I mean and even a big deeper thing. I as I may, I mentioned it at the beginning about the whole the parents and the guy, the little boy, Who Know Brain Dad, and I was having this conversation with a couple of my friends Friday, Friday and he an it's late. As a parent, what would you do? Know, do you really take responsibility for this because he is your obviously, people are saying, you know, is it was not. It's not purpose. Nobody at that age. I would think that. Would love to think that that is you are not purposely trying to injure or kill somebody or made them brain dead. So, as a parent, how do you recover and what do you say to want the other parents to to other to the news, the media that are going to come to you and ask you questions, you know, because you're no pressured, because they may not even have a boat environment. I'm not going to judge its ore. Think of what whatever they're doing at their house, but may not be about environment. It maybe, and you know your child's no done this. What...

...how do you go from there? Really, I mean I feel like on twitter there's a lot of debate about it between the back and forth of, you know, understanding why I you proove might have, I mean, want to go about it, pretending to child or yeah, and other people saying well, yeah, I would put my child up. I feel like the something that nature, that obviously the basic desires to present your child, but I really can't think how I could be okay with my child, like, you know, being at home and living a normal lives like that lay after doing something suff around this. Really I feel like that, woualdly pushes you limit for me, like yeah, you know, like I might, I can imagine. I love my child my whole heart, but honestly, this is such a disgusting art that, like me, I feel like I don't want, want up for it. I want them to have it on for it. Can I think, because I can't picture myself to some like that, especially that age is the kind of like demented almost, you know. Obviously assents happened, but like that's a real serious accident and they're still wasn't yeah, thats not should be. Yeah, me to happen. It's hard to say, but I honestly my child have to go. I would for in the first because I would hate to find much as a bully. Yeah, because I want to read, to get from yeah, because Clark from home. But like that's the thing, though, because now you have to like sit down and back way truck. I'm Batchtra and, if necessary, unique to own not so. Yeah, yeah, the same thing we just talked about, the environment that you're fostering at home and alone, more what you're allowing your child to be around outside of the house. That, yeah, influence do they have when they go outside and who are they hang out ways and all that kind and stuff, because I know, like from having a young brother, like the type of people that young boys hang out with, like says a lot about everything y'all do, like from the music right back, don't how we talks are all that. Yeah, you know room. But yeah, so I feel like for me I couldn't hand it like it would really just bring my heart. Obviously is somebody else's child. It's so child, you know, who had so much teaching from them, just with the with their whole life ahead of them and, you know, so many things that are not like so far to reach US unlikely. So I would really I would really need to give that parent at least some sort of closure in terms of, you know, it's what happened and this is what's going to happen as result. And it's really complicated. I don't think anybody pitches it because as if you grow up not doing as frenzy. You weren't really pictured childhood as frenzy. So I kind of get my some parents kind of see certain trends and like okay, don't do this, make sure you do that. I try to shut it down. But yeah, that's a real tricky one. Honestly, I feel like it really it really isn't good for anybody involved. But I really don't think that the people that really a thought that young boy should get away with it's just okay, maybe a Polje and move on. I think, yeah, sweet top, yeah, something, yeah, more. Definitely does have that. But but I also think the parents needs to be held comfortable at some measure because at that age that there are certain things that you just should not be doing by yourself because you're so young. Like I don't even think my parents let me sit in the front seat at that age. Yeah, like I'm pretty sure I had to wait till I was like closer to twelve. Yeah, like around that age to be able to like sit in the front seas in their legal is. Yeah, I think it is. The thing is late eleven or something. There's something people age read us not. So like if you can't do something like that, there should be other things that should leave. As a parent,...

...you should be able to not necessarily shelter but yes, and limit where your child can go. I know a lot of not a lot of parents. I know in the Caribbean there's a lot of I don't want to call it a stigma, there's maybe a notion that certain people like just let their kids run world like from a young age. You catch the bus home, you can home by yourself, you could do this by yourself and just kind of leave them to their own devices. And that may be a choice and it may not. They may have certain circumstances at home and in other areas of their life that they're not able to be there, and I feel like I was fortunate enough to like my parents were there to pick me up from school, or somebody else is there to pick me up or to tell me where to go, or whatever the case was. Everybody might not have that, but at the end of the day that's your kid, so you have to take you might not have been there, but you have to take some formal responsibility for the actions of your child, because your child. That's why our parents stressed so much that when you turn eighteen, I can't protect you anymore. Like my parents said that. I know other fimily members that said that. So their kids when they turned eighteen. Like, if the police come knocking on my door now, they coming you. I'm not speaking for you. Absolutely few, so oft until that point. Like that's why I think some people might get mad or want to tug back when they while, when they feel that their parents could being overprotective, but a lot of times they have good intentions. So it's sticky situations. It doesn't hurt. Difficult situation. Yeah, that's very hard on them actually. But I'm going to try to get away from all of that known because before I rock up everything, I have to at least that it left. At least let the people know who you guys are. Just ask the regular questions that I would ask any other entrepreneur, which is why did you guys start it? Why did you guys decide? I mean, you did say so. I listened to it, but I'm not going to review anything. So it's all up to them who are watching to go and check it with themselves if they want to find out why. But I want to ask the question. Why decide to do a podcast? Why? What was the idea behind it. Why did you choose too young for an old dog? I mean, I know why, but I'm not just saying so for them who are watching. Why did you choose that name? And you know what was the whole idea behind it? I think, to start off light, we had a see in terms of fame, with medium we want to use to put out there. It was really down between a podcast and a blog. And Knew Harry against writing. She's like, I don't, don't want write, I don't want to don't school are each other? Yeah, I don't. I really don't like to do that either. Yeah, all he woulde was I don't want to write, I don't want to write. It's like, okay, it's better you. It's better to speak. It's beyond yeah, he said talking over writings. I said, okay, fine, like, I'm fine with that. I could do either. So it's totally funny because I've done blogs in any college. Then we started doing it during college to on our own own. Would we stay munching? But like it was just like you. Desire was more so like yeah, that's truly podcast. To something new. Anything special up does maybe it college social they where it came from the concept, aside from it being in podcast form, was for me. I was we've been living up here for almost three years now and from like talking yesterday, I've be it. Okay, maybe, I don't know. It hasn't been...

...through for me. Oh yeah, yeah, from talking to other people up here and the people back home, I was realizing more like for us it was pretty normal, because we know it's very typical for ask the sits form, BCC. Yeah, but to go overseas to study it, that's a normal cabbean yeah, up here that's not like people are like, Huh, why did you barbarous to come here? Yeah, you know, crazy, you know, we're because whether just completely different light, like Huh. But then they also spun it in a way that made it seem that we had such an interesting intersectionality in terms of like our age, the fact that we were born and raised in Barbados. Now we've come over here for school, we're done pursuing school, almost done pursuing school, moving into careers up here, all that kind of stuff. So looking at it from that, to us it seemed normal. Really, it is usual, like we're we're obviously privileged to have the opportunity to have come up here, but it's not as far fetched as some people were making it seem. So when we started to think couple, tit more are and treat it like more of a unique experience that we have rather than just seeing it as any old thing, that's where the concept of the discussions that we have come from. In terms of name. There's two of us. Yeah, you fool. And then we were trying to think of something that connected as subarbatous still in terms of dialects, lying terminologies. We just we did kind of like a word cloud, but we didn't actually draw it. We kind of just feel like shooting words back and forth at each other. And then we came to old talk, because I I feel like I use that term whenever I'm here, because you go to gatherings, my parents just just wants it on old talk, like even as those like I don't like. Can we go home, like ready to go? Can we leave? And everybody just full talking. So we like that term. And then we wanted to kind of like connected, to use up punt, connect them, but then we ended up using a pun because we wanted it to be too also, but also that we're too young. So old talk because, yeah, we're young, we're touched up on that. It's not like you parents of an old talk. They touch up late. Last place. Yeah, and I thinking about this. Have happened aolutely years, if I is that my commission, you don't really have much talk about the last way it came out and that way. But and then was like finding a logo or making age. You guys made it. Well, kind of the I like s catched it. She's like what I wanted it to look like? That was kind of it for my note pad. And then we sent it to our designer, which is your sent Hill. Okay, it's also a agent. Have you got that's going by? Yes, and then we also got the illustration done by another ageon it. Money, money, I'm not sure where her last name is. Her instagram is art ms at Artis or Oh yeah, our Xm of everything, besides your podcast, of course. Is there anything else that you would like to mention, promote, talk about that is going on in your life? No, they just go for it. Just promote it, go ahead anything. The other thing we have is our food blog, we say watching Yad. Initially,...

...when we first came to Canada, we have a whole episode about that. So, yeah, that's spoil anything. If you want to actually care about it, you can go listen to that. So actually, don't you guys have the what do you call it? The thing you just started this last year? I was it before, where you do the music, music Monday? Yeah, music Monday. Yeah, right, yeah, so we used to do that. As for you. So we used to do it for our food blog. Yeah, then, you know, a couple technical difficulties and changing schedules been are pausing it, but it kind of makes more sense to do it on our podcast. So we just, HMM, switch it up. Basically, pick our top three songs that we've listened to like a week or at the past, like we and then we share them on Monday's on our instagram stories and your podcast. When your podcast comes at what days? Saturdays, every Sunday, every single siding am last you just post wot it like yeahfternoon two and one two, but it's always up by seven. Honestly, if it's not up, HMM, roast a problems. That call means for on the M I let em know. I they have to put you and it's on sound cloude. Apple Music Forty, spotify, if I overcast podcast, radio, podcasts anywhere, you can listen to what it's there. Well, guys, first of all, go and follow them. It's too young for an old talks on instagram or sound clothes. quotify all of those that they just mentioned. Guys, and thank you, guys, for joining me up today on what's a podcast. It was obviously pleasure to go on your episode first and then do this one. It with a much more serious topic. So go and check out their episode I was in dealing with the ninety five versus entrepreneurships and all that. So they will release that, hope. I don't know if it will be Saturday, but if they don't, remind them, as they just said, stay tuned to that episode as well and as well go and check out the last episode I did with the Entrepreneur. I don't want to release her name yet because it's not out yet. It's not how yet, so go into it. By No, when this is going up, it should be okay, it'll be out. So if it's not, a roast can occur. Yeah, yes, please do, because it should be going out this week. If it isn't, as a problem, but yeah, go fall them, as they said, go and check them all, listen to their all their podcasts. Again, thank you, guys, for joining me, for having yes, no problem. Subscribed on below it the ballicon like share. Going chat them all, they said, and I will see you, guys for another video. Thank you.

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